Tired of Faking It: Shenice’s Song

READ: PSALM 145:14-19

I’m here every night; too tired to fight.
Just trying to make it, not fake it.
It’s hard…to be a PK,
knowing you want me to say,
“It’s okay. I still believe.”
Though in my heart I still grieve.

But I see a world that’s gone bad.
And it started when Dad
Headed out of the door,
said he wanted no more.

Preacher dad who told me of God—
what a façade.
Now our family’s a mess,
and each day’s got stress.

I pray but don’t know what to say.
Can I be real? There’s nothing I feel
except empty inside.
See, last time I cried
and said, “God, take it away—
this pain, lift it, I pray”—

God, You left it there.
And continued to tear
my family apart. So, don’t start
with me, people in pews,
giving your views
of what I should do.

My best friend Kat—she’s got my back
She has what I lack:
Faith—faith to still pray,
And wants me to be the same way.

Though I wish God really cared
And wasn’t just there, up in the air. • Linda Washington

• Have you ever felt like Shenice—that going through a hard time meant God stopped caring about you? Who, if anyone, did you talk to about this?

• How would you respond if Shenice was your friend?

• What do you believe is true about the God she labels “just there, up in the air”? Why?

• Read Hebrews 4:14-16. Why is it important that Jesus came down and entered our world, including our suffering? How does that affect our ability to talk with Him and bring even our deepest hurts and emotions to Him?

• In his lifetime, King David wrote many psalms. Psalm 145 was probably one of the last of the psalms that he’d written. He faced a lot of giant-sized trouble in his life. Through it all, David’s hope was in the promises of God, even though his life was far from easy in this world broken by sin. He always knew that God heard him when he prayed. He reminds us that God “is near to all who call upon Him” (145:18). Jesus is never too far away to hear you when you call. There is nothing you can say or do to Him that will make Him stop loving you or hearing you when you pray (1 Peter 5:7). What cares, frustrations, or hurts do you want to share with God?

The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth. Psalm 145:18 (NKJV)